I grew up in a very busy, traffic environment in Cagayan De Oro City Philippines. So seeing Jeepnies or Jeep, Motorcycles, Tricycles, Taxis, and more is not a big deal for me because of  those old days of my time there. 

When I left my Country to jump into the new chapter of my existence with the man I choose to marry and be with for the rest of my time, my thoughts of objects around me went openly wide and have transformed in a lighter way. My conclusions changed and my emotions began to accept the reality between right and wrong particularly Government, Politics, and more crucial errors or crucial entities that highly needs attention right away. 

Many people wish they could live in Europe. Specially if your housing is part of your contracts, free tax, and hey living here in Europe is a feeling of having a luxurious vacation. 

Train Stop.

Waiting Metro station stop.

As I noticed here in my current area right now which I love the most is the very friendly transportation. You don’t really need a Car around the city because Tram and Train is an easy way to get through in and out. The benefits are less traffic and most of all less hassle during your daily routine or just heading to the mall.

Back to my home town in Cagayan De Oro City. The primary transportation is Jeeps. I recalled back in my college days it was really a very annoying ride for me. The funky annoying music is very loud, but I have no choice but to deal with it in my busy daily routine. Specially that my travel time is about 45minutes to reach the main City and I did it twice a day.

I reminisce one day visiting my home town for my short vacation. I was in a Taxi in the middle of a very heavy traffic area of Cagayan De Oro. My mind is longing for a Europe road way. That I was in a Tram or in a Train, no hassle and no worries even more. I wish the Jeepneys, motorcycles, and tricycles, turned into a 2 way lanes instead of 4 or 5 lanes. Though having 2 lanes still occurred traffic but it helps the flow of the road. The reason is this is very freaking head pain traffic. I wish this kind of transportation would stop only at their designated stops and not because the passenger wants to stop. It’s a law that these jeeps only stop at their assigned stations. I wish this could happen soon in my home town. I wish one day the drivers would follow the rules to avoid the heavy traffic in the area. If it is only 2 lanes then it should be followed and won’t become into 4 or 5 lanes to avoid the heavy traffic, and feeling like sardines would never be experienced.

I wish that the Government officials will claim and take action seriously. Though in my mind it would be impossible to take off the Jeepneys, motorcycles, and tricycles inside the city and change it into Trams or Trains all over the Philippines. At least the Government could do something to solve the primary problems in the road.

Wishes:
:) Pedestrian Crosswalks all over the Philippines, particularly in the city.

:) Tricycles are not allowed in areas of heavy traffic in the city, or on the highways.

:) A special road for bikes, and they should not be in the city racing with the jeepneys in the highways.

:) Jeepneys should have an assigned stop. Passengers only get on and off at the designated stops to avoid blocking traffic.

:) Sidewalk vendors are not allowed, to keep the city clean.

:) Flea market spaces for the sidewalk vendors to keep them off the streets and not blocking traffic.

:) Police should be visible 24/7 in the city to watch out for and to deter crimes. 

Seems like my wishes above are very simple and easy to implement, but why after decades and decades my wishes above haven’t come true? Are the wishes above really that hard to claim? Or just because the Government is full of Politics?

If my Government would make the first move, I am pretty sure people would have no choice but to follow the rules. Yes all of the Nations that involve in the society should have to make the move. Not just to wait the government to do the first step, but remember that’s why our Country was run by Government politicians for them to manage what is right and wrong and what should be the best way to improve the City!

I know for a fact that Philippines is not like the United States, Europe, Canada, Australia, and some other countries that are rich. It doesn’t mean that if a country is poor it has the right to not be clean, do not follow the rules, and has no discipline in the high ways. I know you know what I mean so please don’t just be a reader and just acting you haven’t seen the problem at all. I really don’t know if my country matured enough to implement the problem. I just wish that my Government would hear, listen, and command what I’m wishing for.

Have a bountiful, wonderful, and blissful day folks.:)

Leann Rime concert at St. Johnsbury Vermont USA October 2011:)

Hello readers,
How you folks doing?

I have no idea why my husband and I have to drive about 6hours from Marblehead MA to St. Johnsbury Vermont. My husband just said a few words that I would love his surprise to me. We started to drive and I enjoyed it so much specially to the pretty gorgeous scenery around New England, snapping photos are just few of my huge way of having fun.

I just want to throw a few paragraphs about Leann Rime.
Leann Rime is from the small county of Texas United States. Since then she enhance her capability of singing which send her to the Industry of Music, and become the most popular singer in America through Europe and to the world.
Performing a concert is her best and part of her priorities is to perform in a small county like St. Johnsbury Vermont as it reminds her small root in Texas.

I found out that she’s actively supporting the Charity for homeless/abuse children. She’s has this good sense of humor and not a boring gal too.
Right then I much more admired her way of existence. She’s not just had this brilliant voice, pretty sexy gal, but also has this lucrative huge heart of her. She is such an overwhelming package to have being a human that God’s gift.

Pardon for my photos of Leann Rime as my Camera is very small and not enough to sustain the need of ISO. It is what it is! I did all my best to capture the moments capable enough to see her cute little pretty face. I did take tons of Videos of her and I could say the videos are awesome. I’m going to update it soon but right this moment, I think photos are enough for now

Best regards, and have fun 
Bloggeryenyen

https://ww.chikawithyeneyes.blogspot.com for my new blog please visit me there also.:)

Finely were here after the long drive:)

The Hotel where we stayed at and Leann Rime with her crew gets to rest before the concert start.

Leann Rime @ St. Johnsbury Vermont

Western Music of Leann Rime

I love to listen her song:)

I brought the Green one:)

At Fuller Hall St. Johnsbury Vermont USA

Have a sexy-ful, bountiful, wonderful, and blissful day folks.:)

Grocery market Vs Conveniece store

Many couples stay home during the weekend, after their long tiring workdays to relax, watch TV, and play video games. I do not see anything wrong with that because you don’t spend money.

My Husband and I are the type of persons that can’t stay at home all day long, especially when it is sunny and beautiful outside. We love exploring the City. We are currently located in four season weather. So each season for us is quite entertaining and challenging.

We’re thinking to have picnic outside. I'm kind of working my healthy diet right now after gaining weight from my previous miscarriage. So discipline in my health is very crucial at the moment. We dropped to the convenience store to get water. It shocked me! I found out this water cost me 3 US$ each for this small bottled of water. Holy cow! What’s in this water? Does it make you skinny right away? Because if does I will pay you back more than 3 US$.

We moved to the grocery market a minute walk from the convenience store. I took the same size and brand of the water at the convenience store. There I said what an over price that 1st store! Here only cost us less than a US$ each. We can save here in the grocery market!

When we're ready to pay we are shocked again for the long line. The line is freaking grrrrrr! My husband said "You pay what you get." That’s why it called convenience store because you’re in and out right away versus to this grocery market. OH well it is what is it! The importance for me is I save few $ lol.

Long line @ Grocery Market. Just to get 2 bottle of water.

Lesson to learn!
I think when you’re not in hurry, why choose the Convenience store if you can head off right away to the grocery market with this huge advantage for you to save.

Great scape.:)

By:Yen-Yen

Have a sexyful, bountiful, wonderful, and blissful day folks.:)

Is Correct Grammar crucial or just for English Class??

I grew up in the Philippines where English is my second language. Actually, English is my 3rd language.
My main language is "Bisayan", the 1st language I learned from the minute I started to talk. Bisayan language originated in Cebu, but is widely spoken in Mindanao too. When I was 3 yrs old, I learned my 2nd language, “Tagalog” from watching television and then later in School. In Luzon and in Manila the Capital city of Philippines “Tagalog” is the primary language which is also the main Language of communication in the Philippines. So the Visayas and Mindanao have to learn “Tagalog” in order to get this communication from this small country the Philippines, or better to say so that Manila can understand the Visayas and Mindanao people, and vice versa.

Because English is my 3rd language, I admit that I really have trouble finding the correct grammar. Plus, I am very bad with spelling too. I remember one of my High school and College instructor told me that I write very well, well enough to touch a few folk’s feelings but the problem is my bad grammar and spelling. Though at the end I hit the home run the way I write. I also admit to myself that I can build up a paragraph right away in less than 1 minute as long as I have this, what they called "focus and concentration". But the only problem is this tiring grammar, spelling, which is a pain in the butt.

When I write:

When I write, I don’t follow protocols or rules. I write using my heart, and write it to flow without concern for sentence structure or grammar. I use my heart. I write whatever I want to write! Writing a blog is not like writing an English term paper. What is important is the subject of your paragraph and how you delivered it. I’m writing to make sure that my readers understand it and at the same time are having fun. And if you have to look at my grammar, even if you do understand my sentence using my bad characters, then it is your problem, not mine. Because I know that you are just looking the simple, small characters that are not really a big deal. But please, if you want to act like an English teacher, let me know when I have this bad grammar so I know which part has errors. By then I can correct it right away and also I can enhance my capability of writing. Plus you also contribute with this huge help to me.:)

I noticed and have researched Americans, British, Australians, and most professional writers having trouble with their grammar. It is not 100% perfect, and I know from the fact also that career folks even hired their own personal editors to correct and read all of their works to find their own errors. I am not writing an article to receive a grade or award. I’m done with the college’s grading system.

I’m here to write using my heart, exerting all my emotions, and hey, to have fun. I know grammar is very crucial as it makes sense of our language. But I must admit in articles we can’t deny having some errors after the submission! But admit it, you really understand the paragraphs even though the grammar is pretty poor. Why? Simple because you have, what they call instinct inside of your system!

I can assure to you at this time. When my writings is going to be graded or I will receive an award, then I’ll assure that i will write it perfectly or shall I say I’m going to put some time to correct my grammar and errors for me to win the game.

BY:Yen-Yen 

Have a sexyful, bountiful, wonderful, and blissful day folks.:)

My strategy for skipping out of Grief

Losing my Baby is a Misery that took me into a dark angle of my existence. I mourn; I cried over gallons of tears, my heart cracked. I must admit it was the biggest pain I ever had. I wanted to overcome the grief to keep on going as life’s journey continues for me and my Husband.

I throw myself into a busy big bee everyday:
1. Enough for always having my blanket and hide underneath until the daylight turned to dark.
2. Exercise is my routine.
3. Eating healthy food.
4. Why not head off to the mall? Shopping and shopping as I can.
5. I Head out to the Spa and I’m enjoying the complementary as twice a week.
6. Alone, I grab my Laptop and Books and go to Starbucks to enjoy a hot mug of Caramel Macchiato and sweets.
7. I wrote down all the grief and agonies that I just experienced to blow out my sorrows.
8. I hang out at the park. Listening to the wind blowing with the birds’ noises singing so softly.
9. At the end of the day I dropped to church.

Weekends:

When Friday night hit to the ground my Husband and I head to the Cinema. We have a small dinner and a coffee, mingled together before going home to continue the sweet tingled night in bed.

The next morning we would do something like the following:

1. Hiking in the woods.

2. Having a good meal in the river restaurant. Sounds “Romantic”.

3. Shopping for Groceries together
4. Going home to relax and watch movies again at itunes.com

Sunday Morning is our most crucial routine:

1. Wake-up by 8am
2. Having fun together with our Coffee and cappuccino break while watching a show at Itunes.com
3. We fixed our bed together
3. Shower
4. Head out for 12noon Mass at Church
5. Late Lunch
6. Window Shopping or something that makes us happy, then head home.

I’m trying hard to be back on track. I’m trying to fix up and pick-up the broken puzzles of my heart to overcome the grief. I don’t have the plan to forget my baby because it reminds my short period of time. That one moment I carry a baby in my womb that brings me so much unexplainable miracles of joy. I’m doing the above stuff just for me to be back on my footpath.

By:Yen-Yen

Have a sexyful, bountiful, wonderful, and blissful day folks.:)

My Journey to Pregnancy

You already know my journey to Fertility, and also my journey to In Vitro Fertilization or IVF which made me pregnant after all the protocols and procedures. Now I’m sharing the status of my pregnancy to you my readers, that contributes to me a Heavenly miraculous Emotional feelings, down to the Saddest Emotion that brought me into a dark side of an angle with this roller coaster scenario of our lives.

Motherhood Books!

Fatherhood Book!

The minute my Husband and I discovered that we have this BFP or Big fat Positive through a Beta test, and received the confirmation HCG from my Doctor, I prolonged my bed rest during the weekdays.  But also a little walk to the mall or to the park as my Doctor told me that a little walking is fine as I should have some mild exercise to keep my blood flow moving. I started these few slow steps outside one Saturday at around my 4weeks.

Weight gain::):):)

The minute I start the Egg Retrieval I notice that I gain so much weight. Before the procedures and protocols or shall I say before we start the IVF, I was on my right BMI or Body Mass index 47Kilograms or 99 pounds which is ideal for my Age and Height.  But right after the egg retrieval I gained weight in a blink of an eye.  It became worse when I got pregnant. I gained about 4kilograms or 8pounds! Holly Cow my good-ness! My Doctor told me it’s because of the water retention.  But during this time, oppsss yes, I admit I was an eating machine too!!

Gain 8pounds!

5 weeks pregnant::):):)

As the weeks go by I feel so excited. I can’t explained the feelings that I am now experiencing from these precious moments of becoming a Mother. I am going to be Mommy Yen soon wow.:) I can’t stop counting and counting the days through my Calendar. I keep on tracking every week and trying to list everything I felt. I felt miraculous. The tingling in my body is so much full of positive anxiety with perseverance. I said to myself that yes I am really a woman, because I am carrying the gift of God. I started to read each chapter of the Bible everyday right from the very start. I’m reading it for my little peanut though he/she can’t hear it yet.  I keep rubbing and talking to my tummy, explaining that when you, my little peanut is born, you will not regret why you were born.  Mommy and Daddy will provide you with a life full of Love and chances for the, best future.  We will teach you to become a good Citizen on this Earth. Mommy and Daddy will make sure that you’ll be in good hands and you’ll be a good follower of God. We will teach you to respect People that deserve your respect back. We believe that a child’s character comes from the start, taught by their Parents. When they grow-up and end-up into rubbish, then that would be their chosen path. In spite of giving them our best, at the end we can’t force them to follow what we want for them. Instead we can assist them and open their eyes between right and wrong! But as what I said at the end they are the one who decide their own Map of life.

6 weeks pregnant::):):)

I remember it was Sunday night I went to the bathroom and I saw a blood spot, I started to panic, I’m shouting and calling my Husband. I lay on my bed, my legs up, and I’m trying to relax. Then after 10 minutes I got up with my husband assisting me to the bath room to pee. And there I was bleeding; my urine now is all blood. I don’t feel any hurt or any cramps at all. I called my Nurse Mobile but no answer! Good thing I found one mobile number of the other Nurse. I called and said I was bleeding. She asked some crucial information. She said not to panic, bed rest, and if it became heavier I should rushed to the emergency hospital that closer to our flat about 4minutes drive. If it will stop tonight, then Monday morning I will have to drop to the Clinic so my Doctor can check on me.

Good thing the bleeding was only about 2 hours it stopped before I sleep. I sleep the entire night, while my husband sleeping on his jeans and shirt in case if I need to rushed to the Emergency room right away and his ready. I noticed also while I’m sleeping my husband keep eyeing on me, rubbing my head to know my temperature, in short he hardly sleep that night knowing that he monitored me the entire night.

The next mornings at 8AM Monday were in the Doctor’s clinic with my Husband. The Doctor told me it was early abortion but they can’t state it yet because the pregnancy is very early to track it down. But seems like were still in the game, and again I’m impulse to bed rest until the next ultrasound. The Doctor says that there will be more blood coming because I have a blood clot in my Uterus. My Doctor provided me with this anti bleeding medication just in case I’ll bleed again. I have to come back after 4days another Ultrasound. They explained that the bleeding was due to the main reasons.

1. The implantation of the Embryo can cause bleeding when the Embryo starts to attach the wall, and there’s blood that needs to come out.

2. Or it could be a Miscarriage.

4 days later.

Another Ultrasound after the terrific bleeding event.  In the ultrasound the Doctor said that he hardly sees the Embryo or our Baby Em inside the Gestational Sac. It should be there by now as it is going 7weeks already. I said where is it? He can’t answer me. He said to wait after a week again and if still not there then we know the answer. I asked him, am I still pregnant? He said yes you are very much pregnant. The gestational Sac is there but it’s empty. My Husband says will wait next week Honey, it’s in there, Baby Em is just hiding, were still on the game.

7 Weeks pregnant::):):)

I knew the feeling that I’m still pregnant because I still felt this Nausea, Heart burn, head ache, morning sickness and I feel so exhausted. So no doubt that I am pregnant I said to myself. I keep my faith strong at this time. I keep talking to God begging him not to take my baby out from me. I said to him that this baby will be yours ohh God I’ll offer this to you.

Were back to the doctor’s clinic again. Right away he does the Ultrasound and then there it shocked me, my husband, and my Doctor. We heard this strong heart beat and the Empty sac a week ago, now is showing our baby Em. Baby Em started to form a spinal cord, and the cells of the toes started to show-up. The Doctor feels amazed and said this is his 1^st encounter. It’s miracles he said. Aside for the good news, the Doctor noticed this huge amount of blood clot or “Subchorionic Hematoma or SCH” around the Gestational Sac of Baby Em. The Doctor said that I should be on bed rest. At any time my blood could come out or my body would absorb it. It’s dangerous because it’s possible that the Hematoma or SCH can pull the Gestational Sac away from the wall and cause a Miscarriage. Right then I said to myself why is this happening to us? Why every week we have this different roller coaster of emotions and encounters? Why can’t it just be normal like some pregnancies? Why and why?

8 weeks pregnant::):):)

At exactly 8 weeks, I woke up in the morning and I felt slight cramps in my lower abdomen. I just left it behind, and push it out of my mind as I don’t want to panic and cause my blood pressure to go up. I went to the bathroom and saw brownish spotting again. I told to my husband and he said that’s good. The Doctor said the brownish color should be out, that’s the Hematoma color. The entire day I was spotting this Brownish blood and it seems like it’s getting heavier, and I can’t deny I’m started to freak out by then because this time I need to use big pads. I don’t feel any cramps or pain at all. But what worries me was the heavy blood now until night arrived and the brownish blood turned to a lighter red color. I sleep and again on fingers crossed begging God again to stop the Blood flow. About 2AM I woke-up and travel to the bathroom then I pass-out this dark red of urine with a light water on it and noticed something came out. It was a huge red blood clot, I’m thinking to pick it up but my other side says stop Yen back to bed.

About 4Am I woke up and travel to bathroom. Again it was watery blood urine with a huge amount of blood clot again. Here I’m started to freak out again thinking something negative happen, something is going on! I keep myself on a low key, I heard my husband voice, are you okay honey? I replied yes! Back to sleep I’m fine. But inside of me I know something is wrong. Until the next day I noticed that I don’t have this morning sickness. I read some books and researched, and it seems like normal but I can’t deny my instinct something is going on.

We went to the clinic and my Doctor worked on me right away. By then he is having trouble finding the Gestational sac and the baby. Still have few blood clots around my womb and we can’t hear any heart beat at all. I said where is my baby Doctor? I can’t hear the heartbeat, find it for me! By then I started to feel that my baby was in danger. I can see on the doctor’s face that something is wrong. The Doctor said I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat and the Gestational Sac is gone. I look hard but as you see it’s not there anymore, I’m pretty sure the SCH hematoma pulled the Gestational Sac and one of the blood clots you pass out was the Gestational sac and the Embryo. I said NO NO NO NO! I stood up and my heart cracked. I feel like I’m losing my breath. My husband wrapped his body around me right away. I was crying with pain, terrible and horrific crashing in me which is the most agony I ever had in my life. I remember when I found out that my parents’ marriage is no longer working, I cried so much with pain which I said it was so painful and hard to accept. But this time losing my baby is the worst case scenario of my existence.

I said to God why you made me pregnant and letting me felt the joy of being a pregnant woman? You let me feel on how to be a Mommy and carry it in my womb, and then all of the sudden you took it back from me. You are so unfair GOD yes you do you are so unfair. I took good care of myself while carrying my baby inside of me. Tons of ladies outside want to kill their babies because they are not ready. And me, that I waited for so long, I’m yearning my baby so bad, asking and begging you. But why is this happening to me? I’m ready to be a Mom. I’m capable to be a Mom. Why is this happening? I wanted to slap the Doctor begging him to Ultrasound me again coz maybe my baby is hiding again.

Emotional Grief's and agony::(:(:(

My Husband and I went to the Church right a way to light a candle and prayers for our baby Em. I felt like I wanted to shout in the Church. I felt like I wanted to holler at everyone because I am so pissed and heartbroken. I felt like I lost the most wonderful and the most expensive jewels in my life. I felt like I’m going to lose my mind and I felt like the world is crashing against me.

My husband said this is the most pain and worst tragedy since we got married. The most painful event, but we are so blessed. You and I are still together and I know we can get over it. All we have to do is to look forward. We should not forget that we still have one frozen Embryo waiting, so you should focus and work to get your health back. Our Baby Em, is in the kingdom of God now, our baby Em is an angel now and become our Guardian, your Guardian to guide you all the way. Baby Em doesn’t want to see us sad because we should focus on the next cycle, the coming of our next baby.

I understand my husband’s feelings trying to lift me up during our downs and soreness pain. But still the pain inside of me is too much and I’m having trouble carrying it on my shoulder. I’m talking to the wind asking, why you didn’t hold tight in me? Why you lift us at the very short time? I keep staring the Ultrasound photo of baby Em which made me more pain but I just keep in mind that maybe God took you because I said to God that I offer you to him, that God is the owner of you. But I know God is not greedy. I know my next baby would be alive and I will carry it full term and be with us for long period of time. I know God would provide my needs as there are no wishes that I asked from him that he never command on me. And having my baby is my last wishes that he never provide yet. I know I should wait, I know time comes for me, and I believed this “YES, NO, MAYBE” that I learned from “PSALM” way back my College days.

Right now I am still on my grief. I hardly can say a “How are you” or a “Happy Birthday” to you my friends. I know this sounds unfair that I should not involve you in my sorrows, but I must admit yes I can’t greet you yet and I’m so sorry for my selfishness at this moment. I don’t want you to ask me “how am I”? Because the fact is I don’t want to lie that I’m fine. Don’t asked me how and why it happens? Coz I don’t want to answer you either. As I wanted to dispute the agony right away, so please don’t prompt it to me again. I know in myself, in due period of time, that the broken heart of mine will gently mix up together, and the wounded heart of mine will stop bleeding.

I wrote this article not because I want you to feel sorry for me. I know that aside from this agony of mine, there are hundreds of Females and Parents out there who are experiencing the same thing as me, trying to overcome the mountains of misery. And I know that there are more terrific stories more than mine. But know what? Please don’t compare me to them, coz my emotions and my pain is different. Every person’s heart desires is very diverse. I created this article to exert and push out my grief feelings, as I know through writings I can blow out my horn. My emotions and I can throw out whatever I want just to calm me down. You might be thinking that maybe I feel good now after writing this worst scenario of mine. But the truth is, I am still mourning, but I know I can get over it as I keep in mind that I need to be back on track, and to be back in shape. And start my healthy life styles again so my next baby can swim good in my womb soon. We are planning for the implant again as soon as my body’s back into shape.

This is now the end of my journey to pregnancy. I pray to God for those pregnant right now, especially in their early first trimester, that hopefully God will provide you Mommies out there with a safe and healthy full term delivery of your little peanut. As I don’t want you to feel the agony encounter that I just have been through. Don’t worry about me because I won’t lose hope. My faith to God will remain strong and high without question, or hesitation. God has the reason why everything is happening, from pain to laughter; I believed God has an object for everything. Again God Bless to all Pregnant Mommies out there.:)

BY:Yen-Yen

Have a sexyful, bountiful, wonderful, and blissful day folks.:)

My In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) Journey.

I’m sharing this story of my husband and me, about our journey through IVF in order for me to get pregnant. And it’s my pleasure to share with People, especially for those Couples who are having trouble conceiving on a normal way. If you’re that couple longing so bad to own you’re bundle of joy, to have you’re little peanut in your arms to cuddle up, play with and to Love with the most, I think IVF is one of the option.

Sharing moments:)

As you read my earlier article before this subject matter about journey to Fertility, your pretty much have the outline, why my husband and I opted to precede with In Vitro Fertilization. We are exhausted, haunting and waiting these terrific fertility agonies of ours, so we thought if IVF can do it right away! Why have to wait more? And wasted more precious stage as we know time goes by so dam quick, which for us it’s pretty much frustrating and hilarious to wait my ovulation comes which actually hardly comes.

April 17 2011. The day finely reached after waiting for almost 3 months just to get this appointment. We don’t have any freaking idea yet about this IVF or whatsoever. The only thing we sure is we are prepared to discuss and willing to undergo any cases in order for me to get pregnant as soon as possible. We openly talked to the Doctor and discussed the reason why we consulted with him, and also discuss my journey about my fertility obstacle to my OBGYN Doctor that referred us to him.

The long discussion and so on took us about 3 hours. In the consultation with the Doctor, we discussed everything and he answered all of our questions. We got the knowledge on which procedures and protocols we should get with all the options and the possible risks of having the procedures. The Doctor explained everything loud and clear. We choose the IVF or In Vitro Fertilization as we believed that this showed us the highest rate to get this little peanut in our hands though it only assured us a percentage of 40% success rate but as what I said we should play the card which only end-up with two results the positive and negative output or shall I say Win or Loose. After hearing all the essential consultation, my Husband and I switched off this silent scenario inside the Doctor’s office. We said to each other that we should think the solution of the emotional roller coaster that started to strikes us by thinking,

1.    Assuming that there will be a big chance of having more than two fertilized eggs waiting to implant in my little womb.

2.    How many fertilized eggs need to be implanted in my womb?

3.    How about the left over fertilized eggs? What will be the future of the un- chosen eggs?

The Doctor told us and trying to explain that the human body is made to carry one baby on her womb as possible, to the fact that carrying a multiple amount of babies is a very high risk of each health between the mother and the babies during the pregnancy. The other factors that need a dramatic decision to us was to pick the following,   

1.    To donate the left-over fertilized eggs to Couples that are not capable to have their own peanut.

2.    To donate the left-over fertilized eggs to research for use in stem-cells in order to help those paralyzed people who have hardly moved their bodies.

3.    To flushed them out or kill them all.

The above option that the Doctor hand us are pretty much hard and of course me as a Woman that longing and yearning so hard to have this peanut in my womb would be much harder to picked which one, and I don’t want to kill those fertilized eggs of mine that soon to be a fetus and become my babies. Though you said they are only microscopic cells a very darn tiny one and still a blood but still they are my blood they are part of me. And thinking of donating them to other couples would be harder for me too, knowing that in the other part of the Globe I have a Child roaming around! Who knows one day, knock on wood my child could possible meet one of them fall in Love and got married, hey small world right! Like my Husband and I. How should we know that a Filipina like me who’s living in Asia would be a Wife of a wonderful American which the country is far enough to reach? And knowing that we can donate it to Science is my option I rather want my babies to help other People who are seeking for a miracles of their lives at least they can helped them, than I will kill them or to donate them to those couples that has no more chance of conceiving own babies. Yes I could be selfish knowing that I should understand the feeling of having trouble of fertility but at this time my decision is final to donate it to the science which my Husband and I agreed with fully support and no hesitation.   

One was to make the Eggs Ripe, and one is to avoid shading b4 the Retrieval;)

Injectables for Eggs Quantity:)

After the discussion I end-up to this one injection in my butt in order to have my period comes because it’s been about 3months already that I haven’t got my dam period. The Doctor also provide me this insertion tablet during my 16days of cycle until the 24^th of my cycle twice a day two pieces in order to have my period again so we can start the protocol right away.

I got my period for the second time using those injections and insertion, for the 2^nd day of my cycle I started with this GONAL-F injection through my tummy for 11days which are the purposed is to provide my Ovary a quantity of Eggs. And together with that I also have this other tablet 5days before my period that I should have to take every day for 14days to provide the quality and to avoid the abnormality of my Eggs. Then I have to visit my Doctor for almost every other day I think for my Ultrasound in order to monitor my follicles how many are they, or are they matured enough to retrieve or shall I say are the eggs ready now to harvest. When it became matured last thing to do, is to make the eggs ripe, and to stop it by shading. After 11days of GONAL-F my Doctor, provide me this 2 injection. The 1 injection in my Tummy is to make the eggs ripe. And the other one is to stop the eggs by shading as what I remember. And opps before I forgot I also have this injectable in my tummy for 20days. 2days before the retrieval my Doctor provide me again with this injection to avoid the blood clot so I been injecting it with the helped of my Husband coz his one doing it for me until the 20 nights. And yes I got a lot of bruises and that’s expected.

Injectables unto my Tummy for 20nights!

Injectables to avoid Blood clot!

Eggs Retrieval.                                                                                         

Total of 11days protocols now here time for Eggs Retrieval I remember it was June 4^th at 8am. My Nurse told me not to wear any Jewelry’s, no nail polish, and no make-up! What? Are you kidding me? Can I just put at least a little pencil lining in my dam tiny eye-brow please? Thanks to my Mom, I got my tiny eyebrow from her! Anyway I end-up to follow my Nurse instruction what the heck! This is more significant to me as I’m pretty much ready, exciting, and anxious, to bake a little peanut in my oven. But aside for those positive feelings I must admit that I’m pretty much nervous too, and my mind is thinking this what if’s again! What if it doesn’t work? What if the result will be “BFN” Big Fat Negative or shall I say again big Fucking Negative? Ohhh my God please no please. While waiting in the recovery room with my Husband I keep my faith so strong, I keep talking to God begging him to make this success because I don’t know if all the negative anxiety in my system goes up. But I know my positive energy are very high, my mind are now playing that I’ll be baking a baby in two weeks after the transfer. I keep on dreaming that my eggs will be healthy and it will be 100% fertilized by my very quality of sperm by my Husband and so on.

Knock out after the Retrieval!

Time for egg Retrieval my Nurse took me to the Operating room now. I remember while the one Nurse talking on me, one of them injected me with Anesthetic on my arm just to make me full as-sleep during the entire retrieval, the one Nurse asking how old am I? And how she likes my Name so much then I started to dream because yes I full as sleep right away.

When I woke up I am already back in my recovery room, with my Husband rubbing my head, rubbing my arms, kissing my cheeks, kissing my forehead, with the word I Love you so much Darling. And opps before I forgot to state! Yes while I’m sleeping my Husband already took some photos of me, so I give him a good deal in there. Instead of answering my Husband a word back with I love you too! I answered him with the crucial information for me to know. How many eggs do they retrieve from me? My husband replied. I don’t know yet the Doctor will visit us soon, they are just waiting you to wake up. Just a few minutes the Doctor and the assistance came in the room, How are you feeling now Lourine? I said I feel fine, seems like I don’t get the retrieval. My Husband told to the Doctor that when I woke up first thing he heard from me was a question if how many eggs you retrieve from her? Then the Doctor response that my question is very common as most Woman who undergo the eggs retrieval, the first question they ask the minute they woke-up are the same thing I does. The doctor told us it was good they retrieve 17 eggs out from me, its kind-a just right because I almost over stimulate but mine was just fine. So I said wow! then they step out the room after a few minutes of visit. In another few minutes another Doctor came in letting us know that the sperm of my Husband was quite good congratulation after the cleaning and final process of the sperm it turned out pretty good enough so my husband and I said ohhh yeyy now ready to fertilized! you are eggs machine and I am sperm freaking machine.

After a few hours spending in that recovery room, now I’m itching to go home and sleep again as I feel to freaking worn-out, I don’t know but yes so freaking exhausted. We took the Taxi instead of the train as my Husband concerned on me. Yes his very worried of me. When we got home I crashed to my wonderful bed right away and again I full as sleep right away, woke up about 8pm because my Husband cooked dinner for me and I should have to eat. My Husband told me that I sleep for about 9hrs! Wow it’s just showing I am really drained out that day seems like I came from the Marathon of an egg retrieval contest hehhe.

The waiting period for the fertilization or the conception was about 5days after the day of the egg retrieval. The next day we received an email from the Assistance of our Doctor, with the good news that out of my 17 eggs 10 was already fertilized and improving lucrative, while the 7 eggs are very slow and slim. Every day we received an updated email about the status of our fertilized eggs from my Doctor, and seems like it’s getting lesser. Until the 5days we only have 2 eggs or the “Blastocyst stage” best enough to freeze and to transfer which has a grade 2 had enough cells, while the rest of the fertilized eggs or “Zygote” are not lucrative enough to freeze or to implant in my womb. At this 5days my tummy feels bloated already and feels like it’s getting bigger as what I’ve notice on it, I hardly wear my 26 size of jeans now or # 0 in western size. But my Doctor said assumed and expect to be bloated more in the following weeks specially when it confirmed my HCG positive or when it confirmed I’m pregnant. My Man Doctor said that my ovaries gets bigger because of the egg retrieval and also because I over stimulate, but there’s no reason to panic or to worry as this reaction of my ovary are normal specially during retrieval, and again no worries as it will goes back to normal in due period of time.

Eggs Transfer.

Here the excitement grows so high, my Husband and I prayed for the best, we arrived to the hospital by taxi, and made us so happy knowing that the transfer is now coming in few minutes. Were again in the recovery room I’m wearing my nighty gown, with my own sleepers. We’re taking pictures inside the room with full of joy.

 The assistance brought us to the transfer room and at this time my Husband is with me and the process is only about 10minutes of transfer using the catheter, and a small tube where the egg is to use for dropping it in my Womb, the Doctor following or driving it through the help of the Ultrasound. The Laboratory personnel told us that only 2 eggs are capable to be transfer as the rest are not capable to freeze or to be frozen. So we opted to transfer only one and freeze the other one fertilized egg. Before the transfer we saw our eggs in the big screen until during the entire transfer and we also watched how the Doctor dropped our baby or the “Blastocyst” in my Uterus and it feels so amazingly fabulous. After the transfer I am quite afraid to move or to get up because I’m thinking what if it will fall down? Here we go again the WHAT IF’s! After resting in my room for about an hour, I hardly can’t wait to use the bathroom to pee because before the transfer I should have a full bladder so I drunk tons of liters of water, but again I’m afraid, so my husband assisting me in the bathroom. And I should check the toilet to, thinking and assuring nothing comes out lol.

We head home right after resting maybe about 2hours in the hospital. Now I’m in the house my legs is up, no house choirs, no lifting, no exercise, no walking for more than 1 minute, in short I am impulse for bed rest for about 2weeks or more.

2 weeks wait.

Two weeks wait seems like two years of waiting I am very anxious ohh my God! I can’t wait to test my urine by this pregnancy test I have. All I did was to pray God so hard begging him to grant our dream comes true to have this little peanut. I feel sorry to my Husband from working to support our needs, and then still working at home, washing clothes, cooking food for me to make sure I have food the entire day even if his at work, getting to groceries, and all the house choirs all he does plus taking good care of me, making sure that my office bed is ready, my books next in my body, my iPod, my mobile, my laptop next to me, my clothes is ready every day from shower, and everything is there next to me.

My budies when hubby at work:)

In this two weeks period of time, I already have this uncomfortable bumpy feelings, like heartburn every night, always hungry though I just eat, I’m craving food, every now and then I traveled to the bathroom to pee, and I’m catching my breath. During this time I can feel that maybe I’m pregnant now and I’m thrilled to try the pregnancy test but I keep saying wait after two weeks.

Eating machine, my husband work:)

After two weeks.

When we woke up in the morning my husband and I are so anxious can’t wait for the pregnancy test, but we opted to wait until his off work because it’s Friday so whatever the result after the Pregnancy test we can go out and have dinner to celebrate. When he got home that night it was 6:35pm we both in the bathroom and started to test, my husband keep on tracking everything so he has to video it whatever the result is. After I used the pregnancy test we put it in the plain clean top on our sink while the Video is open eyeing on the pregnancy test. We closed the door of the bathroom so our Noisy cat can’t play on it, and we stayed in the living room dancing very slow and careful, with a romantic music my head is on the chest of my husband while waiting the 10minutes result.

Result.

We open the bathroom so slow walking so slow to the sink and there we both saw on our 2 little eyes 2 line in the pregnancy test. My husband shouting YES YES YES positive, but I still can’t believe it because the one line is not very much cleared. So I doubt it! My husband showed me on the picture through Youtube.com and google.com what is it looks like? For me to believe that yes it is BFP or big fucking fat positive! Excuse my French folks! And then I started to say Yes it’s true I’m pregnant now thanks so much God. Then we started to take some photos together with the picture on hand of our baby Em- as Embryo the next day we went to the “Lekarna” or Pharmacy because I’m hard headed still wanted to get another pregnancy test so I brought 2 pregnancy test and tested right away. Again yes it is Big Fat Positive; until my Doctor confirmed that yes I’m pregnant by testing my blood for the HCG.

The minute Hubby saw this made him so Happy, i'm not content coz it's kinda not clear!

I'm not content to this result coz 1 line was not that cleard!

This is end of this article, and again please stay tuned reading the next article of my journey which is now I called the journey of my pregnancy, you will see if the pregnancy carried full term or something happen. I wish you having fun reading this article, and I wish that I could possible contributes you some knowledge about IVF, and if you do have some queries please don’t hesitate ask me as you want as I really wanted to hear from you, and your word is highly appreciated. Again have a Blissful one y’all folks.:)

By:Yen-Yen

Have a sexyful, bountiful, wonderful, and blissful day folks.:)